


Somewhere Else

by Noriaki_Darby



Series: Chun Xin Tabris [4]
Category: Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 19:43:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21124193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noriaki_Darby/pseuds/Noriaki_Darby
Summary: Nathaniel highly respects the Commander for giving him a chance to redeem his family name, though to wonder for more is out of the question.





	Somewhere Else

**Author's Note:**

> It started off as “man I wish I could romance Nathaniel”, then it became “what if Nathaniel was attracted to Chun Xin instead?”, and now I’m in hell over this stupid headcanon.

The supposed Hero of Ferelden was someone Nathaniel wasn’t expecting to see. He imagined a tall man, bearded, with a cold, stoic demeanor. Instead, what stood in front of him was an elf, who looked no older than late teens, and only stood up to his nose. He was the sentimental kind, and was wasting his time taking pity on strangers, even him, despite being the son of Arl Howe.

It was extraordinary, the Archdemon was slain by someone thin as a twig and looked like he couldn’t lift a sword. His performance in battle really matched with his reputation. The Hero was adept in surprising his enemies in the many bombs he kept in his pack and was very swift with his daggers. Within seconds, the ground would be stained with blood. If it weren't for the Grey Warden armor, he would just be another City Elf.

Although, his name was unusual as well, perhaps he didn't truly hail from Ferelden, yet people mostly treated him as such. After such a huge accomplishment as slaying an Archdemon and living to tell the tale, who would dare to raise a finger at him?

Nathaniel was half-expecting this elf to just kill him and be done with it. But no, he set him free from his cell. He thought of starting a new life as a commoner, but he kept to his word on coming back. Maybe it was in jest, but something about that elf just catches him.

“Nathaniel?”

And all of his thoughts stopped.

“Commander,” he would've addressed him by his name, if only it wasn't hard to pronounce.

“You seemed disturbed, is something the matter?”

He’s talking to him, his sweet voice had the Ferelden accent.

“It’s nothing. I just need more time to adjust to… adjust to how much this place has changed.”

That was a lie, has the elf not noticed him observing him as he walked around Vigil’s Keep talking with the soldiers and visitors?

“It does take time. How are you feeling right now?” The Commander asked.

Why does he care so much about him to ask such a simple question?

“Content. I want to you ask you something though.”

“Go ahead.”

Of course he'll say that.

“Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance? I am a Howe, after all, the son of the Arl.”

The Commander paused, face contorted.

“I wish I knew,” he said, looking to the side. And the earring on his left ear shined from the lighting of the chandeliers. “When I hear the name Howe… all I felt was… rage.”

“You no longer feel that way now?”

“I still do,” The Commander looked at him, his brows furrowed, voice raised slightly. “I can't forgive him for purging my home, whether it was for the murder I committed over a year ago or just for his own sick pleasures. When I heard you were his son, I felt the same anger.”

So he hated him at first because of his relations, who would've expected. If he wasn't a Howe, or even just said that he was just Nathaniel, would he think of him differently?

“But,” the Commander continued. “Some part of me would detest executing someone for just association alone. So I set you free.”

“Yet when I came back to you, you allowed me into the Grey Wardens.”

“It was late at night, I was tired and couldn't think thoroughly about my decisions.”

“Is that really your answer?” Nathaniel rose an eyebrow.

The Commander paused again, gulping, judging by how his adam’s apple moved. He leaned against a pillar. “Now let me ask you something,” he said at last. “Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?”

“The dungeon had guards the first time I met you. The second time, you were surrounded by a dwarven warrior, rogue, and a mage and I had no weapons with me. Even if I did succeed, what would the people of Ferelden say about me? As if my reputation’s isn't already tarnished by my father’s actions. What chance did I have against you?” Nathaniel wasn't expecting himself to just dump all of that, the answer just poured out of his lips.

The Commander stood up straight, stretching a bit. “I suppose we both had our reasons for being merciful,” he chuckled. “I'm about to head to my quarters, you should too. We've got another busy day tomorrow.”

Nathaniel nodded, and the Commander spun on his heel to walk away. However he paused after a few steps, turning to him again. “Y’know Nathaniel. Maybe I should thank you.”

“What for?”

“For teaching me that I shouldn't judge harshly on someone based on their relations with others. You're nothing like your father, and just being aware of that yourself is already enough,” he scratched the back of his head, looking a bit flustered. “I'm glad to have… get to known you.”

Nathaniel cracked a smile, “Think nothing of it.”

The Commander smiled back. Nathaniel was captivated by that look, he was quite good looking when he first laid eyes on him. He had this mix of femininity and youthfulness in his appearance. He was different than any elf that he has seen.

What's there to do now to break the silence? The exchange of looks may have lasted for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity before the Commander turned and headed to the bedchambers.

Nathaniel stood there, watching him walk away. He's glad to have known him. Maybe they are… friends, despite the rocky start. Friends, and perhaps nothing more.

What stopped him from pulling him into a hug like he did when he reunited with Delilah at Amaranthine? Would it bewilder him even it was a gesture of friendship? There was no point in taking the risk.

Nathaniel only heard so much about his adventures in the Fifth Blight, but one thing he knows for sure now is that he had a lover. That person must've claimed him before Nathaniel could even think of making a move. Maybe if circumstances were different, they could've been together instead…

From the times he has observed the Commander, there were many hints to pick up. How often the elf fiddled with that earring and looking so solemn when he does. How often he spent his nights reading that wrinkled paper and trying his best not to tear up. When he slept in his quarters, he looked so… bunched up. As if he's used to sharing a bed with someone.

There's someone he misses dearly. The duty of being Warden-Commander must've taken them away from each other. Perhaps once this war is over, the Commander will be free to find that person with nothing holding him back.

They'll be together again, one day, hopefully.


End file.
